How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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