just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
