Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
