VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
