I think my vagina is haunted
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
