i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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