They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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