yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
