Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
