I'm going to jail i love you
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Randomize
