Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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