Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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