How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Send help, water and tortillas.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
