Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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