Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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