what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
