you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
