Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
