He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
