Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
