the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
