She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
