ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
