dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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