I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I think I won the penis lottery.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
