Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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