I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
