don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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