Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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