I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
