everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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