Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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