I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
