Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
