a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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