Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
