The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
