Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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