Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
