i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
