your thong is hanging out like whoa
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
