just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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