Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
