I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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