He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
