I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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