I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
