i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
