week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
