i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I love you. Go after that dick
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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