Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
