in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
