The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
