new low.... made out with someone while peeing
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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