dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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