Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
