Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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