Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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