i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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